has your partner been supportive? Started by: Steph

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  • Steph 31
    31p
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    I’ve been wanting a boob job since I was 16 due to the fact I’m not even a 32a very flat chested so feel like a boy. I’m now 27 and finally saved up what I need to get them done. Thing is my partner of 6 years was right behind me supporting me but since i’ve saved up and have the money and become reality, he’s now not been so supportive and kinda getting mad and causing arguments saying I only want them done to show them off etc etc but I’m getting them done for me and no one else (not even him) the way I see it he hasn’t got to walk around with 2 tiny bee stings on his chest and I cant even wear nice dresses like other girls he knows how it makes me feel, he’s also trying to borrow money of mine and not paying back (I was booked in 4th feb now changed to 4th march because of this) I feel so gullible too as I know what he’s upto. I feel so alone. hes also driving me 120 plus miles too for my op.
    sorry about this long thread and me moaning on!

    Rebecca 13
    13p
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    Hey Steph, Honestly i wouldn’t worry… Im literally in the same position! My op is on the 23rd feb and i felt like cancelling too cause my family were going crazy and even though my partner was fine at first, now that its actually being done we’ve been arguing none stop and not really speaking much. He also feels the same that its going to cause a lot of attention etc… Ive stressed so much that its for me and my self confidence, especially after having my son i lost a lot of my fullness even though there wasn’t much to begin with. They will eventually come to terms with it. My mum is finally ok with me having it done and to my reasons behind it, but still got my sisters and partner to get used to it. Its such a pain cause it really makes you feel down, and like you are literally on your own. Im even going for my op on my own but will get one of my friends to come and stay with me after and pick me up cause i know my partner won’t do it. They never understand what its like for us and the struggling with certain clothes, let alone summer. *big hugs* xxxx

    Anonymous
    0p
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    +3

    Sorry for this hun,
    For starters your 27!!! Your a grown woman an if your not happy with your boobs then you do what you want to do!
    Im 24 an have been desp for a boob job since age of 14 an asoon as i got the money i was straight booking it! My past bfs would tell me things to stop me having them saying i was gonna show them off etc. But i now have a partner of year an a half who knew i wanted it did say your fine without it but wants what will make me happy.
    If he really cares about your happyness it shouldnt bother him.
    Dont let anyone stop you, an make sure tou have someone thatl help you post op.
    Men dont relise how incecure small boobs make us, they just see other girls an ashume were all like that flauntin it!

    Be strong hun, an do not cancel your op.
    Here for any help ๐Ÿ™‚
    Im also 11dpo if your wondering xx

    Leah 19
    19p
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    +4

    Thought I’d pop up and say firstly my partner is very supportive, he’s been to every consultation voiced his every possible concern and even paid in full for my surgery, it’s a huge deal having a boob job and I think support is essential from every angle ! May be sit down and explain how all this is making you feel … honesty is the best policy even if you have to be blunt. My op is 2 weeks tomorrow and me and my partner are excited for my big day, good luck to you Hun and best wishes xx

    louise 11
    11p
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    I have been with my partner for nearly 5 years when i told him he said that i don’t need to have it i am fine without, after me explaing why and telling him about the surgery and that the operation is going to be a big op, ive had surgery for medical reasons before. He is now really supportive and said how i seem to be happier knowing i am having it done. Just explain how muxh it means to you and what it will do for your confidence. Xx

    Anonymous
    1p
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    +1

    I’m the same as Leah with my partner, I feel awful he’s not with you 100% as this is a big process and you need someone with you being happy for you ๐Ÿ™ I think maybe he’s being a little selfish as this destroys your confidence and they don’t know how that feels.. like the girls have said your at an age now it’s your decision and you make it! XxxXxxx

    Anonymous
    14p
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    +3

    Hun seriously it’s your body you have one life you should live for you! If he’s not happy already he sounds like he’s insecure and thinking of himself not you!

    You need a lot of support when recovering and if he’s playing up now he may be unsympathetic to you whixh isn’t good at all. He sounds really immature and selfish tbh. You’ve saved ur hard earned cash and it’s something that’ll enhance your life for the better. Maybe he wants u to stay as u are cos it suits his situation and he can’t deal with a more confident you that may attract better things in your life not necessarily a new man or a load of admirers. But tbh when y feel great everything changes inside u smile more and are more positive

    Your boobs will totally change ur life for the better I really hope he becomes more supportive. He shouldn’t be taking ur money like that though thts not cool. All the best hun fxx

    Anonymous
    14p
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    +1

    Also just in case he messes up on the day look into alternative transport/hotel another chaperone to be on the safe side as its not worth risking! U have already put ur date back because of him x

    Hannah 1
    1p
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    Hi Steph, I am in a similar situation to you and it sucks! Every time I try and bring up the subject my partner just wont listen. He thinks that I am only getting them done for attention. He is also under the impression that I want to go massive and look out of proportion, yet whenever I try to explain myself he talks over me so I can get my point across to put him at ease! Any tips would be greatly appreciated! xx

    Steph 31
    31p
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    +5

    Hi girls thanks for the replies, im 100% going ahead to get a BA I would kick myself if I didn’t go ahead as its took me 11 years to get to this stage and finally have a date booked! I’m just more upset at the fact he was right behind my decision when I didn’t have the money but now I have its a different story with sly comments been made, and I hope to god nothing goes wrong with the op and they aren’t wonky lol not like he’d be sympathetic ey…. Ha,
    But anyway I’ve literally told him if my happiness don’t mean nothing to him or thinks I’m that kind of girl to get them out on nights out he can do one……men just don’t understand do they tut.xxxx

    Menu
    +1

    Heu. This is awful to read!! Ever since i met my partner 3 years ago i habe always complained about my littlw bitty titties and ot didnt matter what he said to me to make me feel better i never had any confidence. I wore support bra’s but when i would take it off in front od him he could see how upset i was. When i told him i was getting it done he was obviously worried i would have them out all the time and show everyone them or draw too much attention to myself by not wearing a bra but once i had them done and he saw that mt clothes didnt change but my confidence did he has been mpre tham happy with them himself! You will need your partner for everything after the help, my fella was a god send! Your happiness comes first!! Big hugs xxx

    Anonymous
    14p
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    Good for u hun! Boobs are for life! He prob didnt thibk u would raise ur money and actually go ahead with it and not spend it on holidays r something else. Do u! Hopefully he will come around to the idea once he sees how happy u are. If not then he’ll have to eat his words a few months down the line when he sees how happy u are. Men are just bloody stupid at the best of times I reckon and think we do things like this to please or keep them.. Hearing ur perfect as you are and I’m happy with how you look doesn’t change how we actually feel about ourselves and tbh our own opinion of ourselves and how we view ourselves really impacts how we feel and appear to others.

    Since having mine done 8wks ago I feel so much more womanly I can fill out things and my boobs compliment everything else I had going for me bodywise. It’s not about having something missing I think it’s more about enhancing what you have to the fullest. Just know ur not thr only person going through it and theres always support on the forum! First 5-7 days are the toughest I reckon but once ur oast that plane sailing just make sure ur prepped and have all areas covered so u kno what ur post op regime fully entails x

    Faye 16
    16p
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    I feel your pain hun, since the age of 14 I had always wanted a boob Job and growing up I knew it was something I would eventually do. Unfortunately my ex partner who I was with for 8 Years wouldn’t let me get them done and would cause so many arguments that I then didn’t bother. I soon binned him and the first thing I planned on doing after we split was getting the boobs I had always dreamt of. I’m 28 and I got my twins 3 weeks ago, best thing I’ve ever done and really wish I had got them sooner. All I can say is listen to your heart, do what makes YOU happy – it’s now or never xx

    Gina 47
    47p
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    Mine wasn’t and he said he hated all boob jobs said I’d be horrible and he wouldn’t find me attractive anymore and now 6 month down the line he loves them and has apologised since! Go for it girl it will be the best thing you’ve ever done! Boys know nothing xxx

    Skye 24
    24p
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    +1

    Hi Steph,
    When I first met my partner, I was always really conscious of my chest and always used to say one day I will get surgery! So it has always been mentioned but I didn’t ever think I would do it.
    My partner has been supportive of me, he is driving me to my surgery and taking time of work to look after me post op.
    Although he hasn’t came to any of the other consultation with me – mainly because he always said he felt it wasn’t his place and I think he felt a bit awkward at the thought of him having to watch another man check my boobs down ha!
    I have saved for this myself and wouldn’t expect him to pay anything towards it – as he usually pays for our date nights etc. Plus I just like the thought of me doing it myself and being independent ๐Ÿ™‚
    Do not ‘loan’ him money, especially if he has no intentions of paying it back.
    It sounds he may be a little threatened.
    He would be mature enough at this age to handle it another way if that is the case. You getting a pair of boobs shouldn’t make him unstable or create arguments – like you said it’s not for extra attention so he shouldn’t be worried.
    Non of us know your partner personally so I’m not going to slate just keep your mind open and think about yourself in this situation as it is for you & only you!

    Sam 49
    49p
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    +3

    My fella was exactly the same! Thinks that boobs will turn you into some sort of wild animal with their boobs out all the time ????. Same reasons, ‘your gonna draw attention to yourself, who are u trying to impress, you’ll change, you will have them out all of the time’. He never asked if I was excited or took any interest other than negitivity! Let him get on with his mood and had them done! It’s your body Your 27 and if you want it done to feel better about yourself then do what you please!! They just turn into insecure mess’s! I’m 10mpnths po now and he loves them, I think that they are quite shocked to see that you don’t turn out to be everything thy thought up in their crazy heads! Go for it Hun don’t let others make you feel guilty for something you want done! If only they done cock extensions at this price I’m sure all the men would be jumping at the chance hahah x

    CLP 46
    46p
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    This is really upsetting to read!
    I have wanted a boob job since I was in secondary school. By year 11 I was still flat chested and all my mates had boobs! But I decided to wait until I had finished growing.
    Well I hit 21 and was just a 32b. I’m not an overly big person, but my bottom was much heavier and it made me look out of proportion. I started running and did the London marathon and all that jazz and lost even more boob (and I didn’t have much to lose in the first place). So it made me want a boob job even more.
    My partner always said to me I like you’re boobs how they are, you don’t need a boob job (he’s more of a bum guy) and it’s not that I needed his permission but I wanted his support so I decided to not talk about it anymore and leave the idea.
    But everytime I wore a bikini or tried to wear a certain dress or too and couldn’t fill it out it really got to me. And then last summer out of no where he said if I really wanted them done, he knows I have for years and years then he’ll support me in that decision. He still liked my Boobs and said he was going to miss them but I was so pleased knowing I had his support. So I went to my
    Consultation and due to work and annual leave I waited until Jan this year and now have them done. He’s been brilliant and Icouldnt fault him. We’ve been together 5 years now and it took him 5 years to come round. He used to say the same things, I don’t find boob jobs attractive, you don’t need to mess around with that all… but he’s really pleased himself with how they’re healing so far!
    Men have really odd ways of showing their feelings towards things and you also have to understand there’s probably an element of fear they have in case something goes wrong. And I know my fiancรฉ did, that’s why I understood a bit. And he was worried I’d spend all this money and not even like them.
    Every now and then he’ll jokingly go well you’re just gonna get your tits out everywhere, but I know deep down he’s actually worried about that. But tbh I didn’t get my boobs done to flaunt them, I got them because I get insecure and not very womanly. And now he gets that.
    I’d really recommend a really big chat with him.
    It’s your body and your decision, but his support would be great! What he is doing is not right or even nice when you’ve saved up so long for this and really thought about it.
    They will come round to the idea, trust me. And you will both love your new boobs!
    Best of luck xx

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