but why you are so much more than that..
The day that I realised that I was okay with not being beautiful was the day I realised I was so much more than beauty. And it all started with a piece by artist Caroline Caldwell.
A stark, white space emblazoned with the bold, eleven script of the artist
‘COMPLIMENTS THAT AREN’T ABOUT PHYSICAL APPEARANCE’
It struck a chord with me that so much of the kind words we mighty women direct towards each other are based on beauty that is skin deep, and often, the harshest criticism, that we feel most deeply, comes from judgements by ourselves and others on our outward appearance. Could it be that this huge reliance on our aesthetics could be the cause of some of our deep rooted confidence issues and negative self image?
If we believe that all we are appreciated or loved for is our looks alone, then is it any wonder we feel less of a woman on the days we don’t feel like we look picture perfect?
Picture-Perfect Pressure – Be Gone!
That amazing day, back when I realised that there were so many other significant qualities to me as a woman other than just my appearance, was the day I set my self free from the personal weight I had been carrying around to look beautiful.
If you tell a girl she’s “FIREEEE BAE” or pretty, or comment a YASSS on that LN outfit upload, then you’re already supporting your sisters and I’m with you! And honestly, she’ll probably like it too. But why stop there? Why not add something of value or substance to an appearance based compliment – like telling her she’s got great taste, a natural stylist, you always know what to wear, you should be a personal shopper!
That way, tomorrow when she’s hung over and it’s the morning after and her outfit is kicked off in a heap on the floor with some sticky heels, a face wipe full of makeup on the bedside table nestling up to a discarded pair of lashes, she’s not left sitting in her pjs with a bed head and morning breath feeling like she’s not as great, but that because her choices and actions are being praised here as opposed to how she looked, the compliment applies even now and not just when she’s dressed up to the nines.
There are unlimited ways to give a compliment and letting a girl know she’s #goals is just one way to say it, but don’t forget to tag those other achievements – like cooking a great meal, finishing an assignment or work project, being a great mum or running a marathon. Goals doesn’t start and end with looks and ideal couples. Empower your friends with names like goddess and kickass and killer, rockstar and wonderful, smart and generous and kind hearted!
Use these labels and compliments to encourage each other to feel wholly loved and you will help your fellow females to feel self-love too! Good deed of the day done, plus, it’s been proven that saying thank you and giving meaningful compliments makes us feel better too. It’s science. And we both get to win!
Pretty Is Not the Price You Pay
Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked "female". #erinmckean #youdontoweprettinesstoanyone #doyoubooboo #love #life #empowerment #women #whoruntheworld #girls #live #beyourauthenticself #selflove #selfrespect #beauty #blogger #christinescrazyblog #holdyourheadhighbabyyouregorgeous
It’s easy to feel like guys have it so great, because they just look so good all the damn time! But that may just be because we aren’t accustomed to seeing them in makeup in spotlight or professional roles. This quote is a reminder to you, that just because you are a woman, does not mean you need to look “beautiful” to societies standards all the time. Remember that you are beautiful anyway, that the concept of beauty changes depending on what time in history and where you live in the world, and that there are a million reasons why you are beautiful.. and your looks are only one of them!
We aren’t all born with Amazonian proportions, long limbs, or curves in all the “right” places, and MYA, by God I love you, but cosmetic surgery can only take you so far.
You impress me ...
Through your accomplishments, your passion, your work ethic, for listening, for being kind to those who have Nothing To Offer,
for being dedicated to that goal you set yourself, for being there to support those who needed it,
for being determined, for achieving your dreams, for your insane work ethic,
for your desire to be a better person, for communicating well, for making me feel like I matter,
for your strength when you were tired and fed up, for not giving in or giving up, for always knowing what to say, for being the glue, for lightening the mood, for your humour, your
wit, your knowledge when a friend needed advice, for keeping the balance,
for losing the balance but being positive anyway, for striving for better for yourself and those around you, for being good at baking, at science, at devouring books and film,
for singing with me in the car, for taking great candids of me,
for knowing when to crack open the gin, for letting me hold your arm in those heels,
for picking the right time to call, for being honest when he was a loser,
and supporting me when I loved him anyway,
for being a great friend,
a wonderful mother,
a savvy business women,
a thirsty student,
for being so much more than just beautiful.
BOOBS ON THE BACK-BURNER
It’s so EASY to post a selfie for some confidence boosting, but let’s put our faces and bodies on the back burner, and give and get some recognition from each other about what we do, not how we look.
When I had my boobs done with MYA, it was so easy to look at the surface and see how my looks changed, and thrive off the lovely things girls were saying to me about my new figure.
Honestly though, it was all the new things I felt, not the way I looked, that I loved the most.
I could DO things with confidence, and that confidence gave my power and from that came strength. It was an emotional domino effect, that’s still creating ripples today.
SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS SELF-LOATHING
The point to take away is that we love to love our image, but on those days when you think, “oh, I hate my lips!”, or “I wish I had smaller feet!” remember that your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do and as long as you can kiss and sing with those lips and dance and run to the ones you love on those feet, then they really aren’t that bad. These simple parts that you were born with that you honestly look at sometimes and think yuck! are the bits and pieces that carried you through your lows and your triumphs.
These thoughts will get you through your worst days of self loathing.
So I hope you understand my reasoning, that DNA does not a beauty make, and it is not for your face that you are beautiful, but for your accomplishments, for your substance, for your fierceness!
Compliments can be complicated in practice, and I’m not saying for a second don’t give credit where it’s due, just remember to emphasise the rest and give a girls credentials as much credit as her curly blow and cracking boobs.