So, you want to get cosmetic surgery. No biggie, but how do you let the boobs out of the bag? Have a look below on the best ways/discussion points to talk about your breast enlargement:
Don't get Tongue Tied
Any decision that involves minor risk surgery can be daunting, and making the choice to share that decision with others can be just as nerve-wracking as the op itself. I'm going to look at who you may choose or need to discuss your decision with, and help you find the best way to approach your friends and family when it comes to it.
Is Honesty the Best Policy?
The choice to share your decision will be totally unique to your situation, depending on you individually and your personal relationships, so if you decide to keep mum from mum, that's totally ok! You're entitled to your privacy, but don't forget that keeping your surgery a secret may lead to repercussions at a later stage. While none of us are obliged in any way to tell the world our business, you are going to want someone there to help you through the recovery and though we may aspire to be strong, independent women (and men!) I know I certainly appreciated the 24 hour support after my surgery when I could barely lift a full pint of water without wincing. Ouch.
So here's the 411 for those of us daring to bare all:
Pros for Spilling The Surgery Beans
Letting one or a few people know about your surgery will really benefit you physically and mentally. We're all psychos girls, we hold our perfectly manicured hands up, so some support goes a long way.
Confide in people who you trust.
Being open with the people closest to you will mean any future worries or complications won't bring up awkward questions. If you weren't honest in the first place, and your significant other or parent finds out later, they may be more offended that you didn't trust them in the beginning.
You don't want to spend lots of your hard earned dosh and then have to hide your new found confidence through fear of being questioned. You don't want to go and restrict your behaviour because someone may notice your boobs are bigger or your stomach is flatter. Some surgery is going to be noticeable, so think long and hard before you decide who not to tell.
Sharing is caring
To avoid future complications
To maintain trust with your nearest & dearest.
To be comfortable, confident and unafraid.
Who's Invited to Your Boobs Birthday?
I know a lot of us post BA girls like to celebrate our boobie birthdays with a breast shaped cake pop or cookie, but who gets an invite to the party? And who should you think about informing before the big day?
Telling The Parents
So, these guys, who are totally to blame for the genes we're slaves to, should probably be up there on your To Tell list. Yes, dads don't get it. And yes, mums will freak out and will probably tell you that you're perfect just the way you are.. but then again, they may surprise you. Don't forget, our parents weren't born yesterday, and in fact, they wrote the book! While for some of us who may be just looking into cosmetic surgery and finding it a whole new, exciting world, the old Ma' and Pa' have been around for decades before us, and probably have experience with their own friends, relatives and perhaps even themselves going through surgery. If they are quite conservative or old-fashioned, you may need to reason a little longer but love usually wins in the end, and all they will want is for you to be happy. Orrrrr on the other hand, maybe your dad will react like mine and exclaim that his old girlfriend felt like 'there was a concrete slab with an elephant on it' sat on her chest after her BA so he's sympathetic and brings you sweets and pity post-op. If you have a close relationship to your guardian, they will probably already know about you're insecurities and your wishes to do something about them, because don't they know everything? How DO they do that, dammit...
Telling The Partner
Firstly, I have to state the obvious, your surgery should be for you and not for your partner, however, it's great to have their support. Whilst lots of partners will be encouraging and even excited about your surgery, some of our other halves (our jelly to our tots, our Nutella (I mean avocado) to our toast), may even feel insecure at the thought of you becoming even hotter (damnnnn girl!) than you are already, so reassure them that it's a journey you want to take with them. Financially, it may be a choice that affects you both, so talking about your options is a must. Plus, someone's gonna have to drive you to the hospital and take cringey videos when the anaesthetic wears off and you start talking like a gangsta. Innit bruv. Although not necessary, it does feel good to have your partners approval and if you're looking at having a BA, I'm sure they will be more than happy to help you with your research by studying plenty of boob pics!
Telling The Kids
Let's talk about the sprogs, after all, they are the future and all that. So many women choose surgery to repair changes to their bodies which happen during childbearing, childbirth or even its after effects. If this is you, you may wonder how to break the news to your kids, or even if you should? Will your daughters grow up with a negative body image themselves if you're giving them the wrong ideas about what's good/bad when it comes to your figure? Depending on their age, I think being open and honest with them will combat this. Reassure them that it's ok to feel insecure sometimes, and that it's good to talk about it, because in the future they may one day need to come to you for advice, and you want them to know it's okay to talk and be truthful with one another. Reassurance is key. Have lots of information for them, and be supportive if they feel they want to ask questions. Post-op side effects like swelling, bruises and pain is something you may need to prepare them for, unless you book your surgery for around Halloween and save some money on a costume, hell yeah, take THAT Pinterest mums!
Telling The Besties
Maybe you don't want to be judged by your friends, maybe you're afraid they will disapprove of your choice and it might weaken your friendship, or maybe you're worried about making a friend who has their own insecurities feel worse or perhaps even envious. Don't sweat it! Get The Galdem on your side (still speaking ghetto from the Anaesthetic?) & choose your good friends to confide in. If you really feel it's something you want to keep on the down low then speak to them in confidence. Good, true friends will have your back, and your hand, if you need it holding pre-op!
Telling The Boss
For some of us having surgery, we may need to take time off work, and also consider recovery time, especially if you have a job that's physical. Think carefully about the type of profession you're in, and if having cosmetic surgery will affect your career. Whilst we are still battling the stigma, there's still lots of work to be done, so don't let others in the workplace undermine you over your decision. Check your contract, employee handbook or with HR to find out your rights or what you're entitled too. And a decision that's almost as hard as saline or silicone? Under or over the muscle? 375cc or 450cc? Holidays or sick pay?! The law states that you don't have to disclose the true reason for any op as its personal. Ideally, you should take your holidays, but if you're planning on taking time off as sick leave, speak to your GP about a sick note that's confidential and doesn't reveal reasons for the surgery. Maybe get creative! Tummy tuck to repair a hernia op gone wrong, rhinoplasty for breathing complications, boob job for uneven, painful boobs. It may help to discuss with some close and understanding co-workers in advance who may be willing to pick up the slack and fill in for you. Be bold, but comfortable in what you decide to share or not. This isn't the office biscuit tin, it's your body, so don't feel like you have to offer everyone a bite.
So here is your crash course on overcoming that stage fright on your upcoming surgery. Remember that by coming to a decision, which no doubt you've thought long and hard about; you're already very brave, so bite the bullet and shoot! Choose a time when your confidant is relaxed, and has an open frame of mind. Don't stop them when they are in a hurry or stressing about another issue, you want their undivided attention so you can get your point across. PAY ME ATTENTION! Approach your loved one in a calm manner, don't get over excited or over emotional, as you may be conceived as acting irrational or making a dramatic decision. Be loving, level-headed and clear about what you want to do and your reasons why. Do your HOMEWORK. Be prepared for questions, don't get ruffled. Arm yourself with books, pamphlets, photos, facts, websites and financial breakdowns.
If you're talking to work, maybe print off some letters from your PC or Surgeon about recovery time. If it's your children, have images for them to have a realistic expectation of what to expect. Parents may need cold, hard numbers. Choose positive statistics to back up your decision. Be Prepared for Negativity. Honey, it's gonna happen. Not everyone will agree with your decision, and you're going to have to be able to handle some criticism. This will usually come from uninformed people or those who'd can't empathise with you. Give these people time to think it over and come around to your way of thinking. Ultimately, you'll win some and you'll lose some, but as long as you're doing what makes you happy, and it's not harming anyone else, then don't worry. "Hop In Looser, We're Going Shopping!" Make your people part of the process. Include them, invite your partner or parent to a consultation with you, take the girls shopping for new clothes or bras and ask their opinion. Let them know that whilst this is your choice, their involvement is welcome and their support will be a key part of your recovery. Maybe chat about all the great new things you will be willing to try and do once you're over the hill. Will you take the kids swimming with confidence? Book the girls holiday you haven't ever wanted to go on before? Buy him the sexy lingerie you always wanted to wear for him but weren't comfortable in? There will be lots of changes coming up, aside from the physical appearance, and the most exciting part will be sharing this journey will these people who you hold dearest.
Don't forget, if you still need extra support, your PC and MYA Space fam
are right here for you! Candice x