Anyone else feel guilty or selfish for wanting surgery? Started by: Anonymous

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  • Anonymous
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    Hi just wondering if anyone else feels guilty or selfish for wanting surgery? Im a mammy of two and have been thinking about this for a long time, my partner is really suportive and says the finace is do-able but i dont know if i can bring myself to go through with it? Its alot of money?!??!! Anyone else feel a similar way xx

    Ann
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    Yes, absolutely! He says do it or accept myself as I am. And am I being selfish to do it when it’ll mean I’m out of action for a few days/couple of weeks and so will put upon everyone else in the meantime?

    Anonymous
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    This is exactly how i feel – my children are still quite young 7 and 4 so im worried i wont be able to see to their needs as well as i usually do too which isnt fair on them. Ive wanted this for a number of years and dont think the desire will go away but do i just forget about it and accept i have small boobs and embrace that? Very hard to decide , my mum also pointed out how would i feel if one of my children turned around when theyre older and said they wanted to change something about themselves, i think id find that hard to understand as you always see your children as perfect as they are. so im also feeling guilty for not being happy in my own skin … Good to know im not the only one feeling this way thanks for reply ann

    Jennifer 12
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    I don’t have kids and Im only early 20s but maybe if you had it done your family would notice the difference in how you feel and hold yourself as a person. If it’s something you both want then maybe you should get it done because your happiness is also your kids and partners happiness. As much as I understand your guilt, your families would understand and support you if it’s something you feel would truly make you happier. My dad really didn’t want me to get it done because he thinks I’m perfect and offered to give me me the money back and buy me a dog I’ve wanted for so long but he now understands how much better I feel and sees my smile much more 🙂 you’ll both make the right choice no matter which way you go xxx

    Lou 7
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    I’ve had my op done 12 days ago now and I have 3 children ages 8,2 and 5 months and I’m not going this it’s been really hard I can’t push the buggy still on the school run I’m having to get my youngest dropped off to someone as I can’t pick her up still so if you have some support on the second week as well as the 3rd then you will be fine. It will be worth it! It’s a few weeks of your life I have felt guilty but everyone knows how long I’ve wanted this for as I had nothing there and I’m so happy to look down and see boobs lol. If you have the support don’t feel guilty enjoy and relax 🙂 x

    Lou 7
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    I mean on the 2nd week as well as the first

    Ann
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    Thanks Lou- great to hear from someone who has already gone through it. Mine are 7, 4 and nearly 2. Pre children I had just about accepted my body and believed that pregnancy/breast feeding wouldn’t have any impact on small boobs. Oh how wrong I was! Since finishing breast feeding about a year ago I’ve been waiting to see if my boobs settle again (it took a while after breast feeding the others) but I don’t seem to have regained any volume at all.

    I’m kind of worried that I’ll look huge. I don’t want a very big implant and have had 250 or 275 overs recommended (I’m 5’7″ and about 9stone-9 st 5).

    And, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you tell your children, Lou?

    Rachel 5
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    I’m 39, single with no kids and I still feel a little selfish! My parents don’t think I should have it (but fab as they are they are supporting me)and I’ve been told by my sister in law, that I’m setting a bad example to my nieces! Also a fabulous lady at work has just been diagnosed with breast cancer! Makes me feel like I’m being superficial etc… Only one person at work knows I’m having it done so thankfully not had to have any awkward conversations. My friends are really supportive.

    I’m now of the opinion that sometimes it’s ok to think about yourself – I don’t think it’s being selfish, I think we all deserve to feel happy and comfortable in our bodies. Having surgery to make this happen, maybe extreme, but we are lucky enough to have this as a choice.

    So I try to block out the ‘selfish’ and ‘superficial’ thoughts and as the adverts say ‘you’re worth it’ cheesy but true! Xx

    Lou 7
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    i only told my 8 year old just told her in a happy way and she just laughs and helps me as and when and I treated her for helping. My 2year old I just told him It hurts and he has been good hasn’t jumped on me at all he thinks I’m a bit sore lol .
    The only struggle is my 5 month baby so you should be fine my 2 year old has also enjoyed passing me my drinks and getting things for me too. I breast fed and was really deflated like loose skin it was horrible I had 325cc HP I’ll post a pic there not that big at all just suit my frame.

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    Lou 7
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    My partner had the first week of to help with the kids but couldn’t do he second week but each day you feel a difference and can do a bit more.

    Anonymous
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    Lou you look amazing! How did you find the surgery? Which surgeon did you have? Thats exactly what i would like just boobs rather than the skin i have at the moment xx

    Menu

    Yep I have done I’m a mum of 4 and have felt self conscious about my body for a while but have wanted one since I was 16 I’m now 26 but my children always have their needs met and I don’t think I’ll ever stop wanting one and my partners paying for them so why not xxx

    Katrina 18
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    Hi girls…..

    I have 3 children…19,15 & 6…..the older two hated the idea…the 6 year old has been great! ……my youngest says things like …is it because your still bruised mummy…when I can’t do something….and he’s being very careful around me…I’m 12 days post op….I just told him mummy’s getting her boobs made so they look like nice boobies again…explained breast feeding left them looking not very nice for mummy.

    Do not feel guilty….at all….remember why you feel like you want to have it done….it’s all very surreal when you actually go for your 1st appt then booking followed by op day!…very strange.

    My mother passed away 3 years ago from breast cancer…..she didn’t get breast cancer from having BA surgery…keep it real…please don’t let what others go through effect your choice because everyone is diff…..I also have a friend that went abroad to have an uplift and BA…it went horribly wrong and a week later had to go for surgery to remove the implants….doesn’t mean it will happen to us. ….

    I waited 12 years …I’ve just turned 37 and am so glad I waited till after having my children. What I have is now how they will stay I hope.

    Good luck xx

    Katrina 18
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    I have lots of pics on my profile if you want take a look x

    Lauren 20
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    I told my surgeon about the worries of getting breast cancer and he said there isn’t a risk and told him my mum went for regular mammograms and he just said you have to let them know you have implants that’s all x

    Lauren 20
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    But honestly Hun go for it yes some family may not agree but they will see the difference it makes to your self esteem and how much happier you will be! Your 5 year old will be in school for 5 out of the 7 days and same with 2 year old maybe? And the 5 month old won’t even remember this I think it’s s perfect time for you as the baby isn’t moving about as much so you’ve not got to go and pick them up because they have crawled and gone somewhere they shouldn’t have the 2 year old will be getting there own independence if they are anything like my step daughter that is and your 5 year old will love to help you out as your poorly x

    Aimee 1
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    Omg I can relate to everything said in these posts . I’m a mum of 1 she is 2 yes old but my hubby has a little boy who is 7 and I have been feeling proper guilt I’m booked in for surgery on 16th Nov and I’m doing it for me no one else just me and I’ve taken the view now that sometimes you have to be selfish xxxxx

    Ann
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    Thank you all so much- it’s great to hear other people’s views and to hear how they are managing with children.

    Anonymous
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    Totally agree with ann i thought i was the only one to feel like this! Thanks girls 🙂 xxx

    Vickie 10
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    I’m 40 and My son is 7 and I only wish I did it sooner. I don’t feel guilty or selfish at all. Only the first week was uncomfortable, I could still give him cuddles take him to school etc.

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