Boyfriend doesnt agree Started by: vanessa

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  • vanessa 3
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    hi girls. i had my op on sunday 17th so a few days post op now. ive been with my boyfriend 3 years and he never took any interest in my surgery/journey as he didnt agree with it and was happy with me the way i was. He said to do what makes me happy, so i have and i dont regret it at all! My only issue is that its been 5 days now and he hasnt been to see me and is being very off, i spoke to him on the phone this morning and he said he doesnt know if he will ever come round and doesnt really want to speak to me. obviously this is upsetting. He just doesnt agree with cosmetic surgery in general and thinks im now vain and shallow which im not, this is just something ive done for myself to make myself happier. I have hardly told anyone about my surgery which shows how personal it is to me. Was anyone elses boyfriend the same ? xx

    Sophie 20
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    +4

    Hey Hun. My boyfriend was a bit like this at the start, mainly because he saw it as a waste of money and he liked me as I was. I said to him, if I had an extra finger you would not have a problem with me getting it removed would you? Well it’s not any different, people think getting your boobs done is for attention from other people but think about it the other way round, I’ve got something on my body that doesn’t match the rest of me and if I can do something about that then why not?
    If he can’t come round to the idea then it might be time to reevaluate, what is he expecting you to do – take them out because HE doesn’t like them? Might not be want you want to hear hun but at the end of the day beig with someone is a partnership not a dictatorship and sometimes that means supporting even if you don’t agree with it.
    It could be that maybe he doesn’t understand the whole process at the moment and may come round, or it may be that he’s worried about the extra attention he thinks you want from other men!!
    Xx

    Tracy 30
    30p
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    +3

    Omg hunni this is awful!! Personally I think it’s a bit selfish for him to be like this as soon as you’ve had your op!! Sounds like he wanted you to do what he wanted and because you haven’t listened he’s sulking. He’s probably worried about the attention you might get off men, but if he is really against cosmetic surgery then there’s not much you can do but if he really loves you that won’t matter when he gets used to the idea. My boyfriend was more concerned about the money side lol, he just said as long as it makes you happy then go for it. He hasn’t really mentioned much about them yet as I’m only 8 days post op but he said he’s just waiting till they are ready to be fondled with hahaha. I wouldn’t worry about it too much hunni you’ve done this for you and if you would of listened to him then you would of be unhappy. So just ride it out, you never know he might get used to it but if not just remember you are happier in yourself and there are plenty more men out there that will love you for you, cosmetic surgery or not!! Your still the same person. Hope everything goes ok hunni, keep your head up 🙂 @vanessa xxx

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    +4

    mine struggles with it and didn’t want me to get them done but he paid for it as it makes me happy…….I know this blunt but your fella is a dick!!!!!!you have got enough o deal with with recovery how selfish is he so just because he doesn’t agree and he is comfortable with himself doesn’t mean you have to not have surgery and feel uncomfortable just for him………….you haven’t gone big or ewt …………………listen true love is you being there for each other and if hes not gonna be there he isn’t good enough for you……..hes prob threathened that now u willget more attention…………..my fella worriesthat people might say something but he will just batter em lol but hes happy for me ……………..hugs huni xxxxxx

    vanessa 3
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    thanks for your replies girls i know u dont have to sugarcoat it he can be a dick at times haha, just feeling a bit down about it today as i thought he would be alright with me, Its just hard because he never wanted to know anything although ive obviously told him the basics and why i want it doing. He knows im doing it for myself. Just wish he would hear me out more its the fact hes just straight up ” i dont want to know” right now. I think he might come around but its just irratating as this is the last thing i need right now! Just want him to actually see me and he will hopefully fall in love with them like any guy should haha . Hope your surgery went well today cassandra! xxx

    Yana 51
    51p
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    +1

    I agree with Cassandra. He obviously doesn’t understand and not mature enough to think of you rather than his own ego. However, please be careful, don’t let him have any pics of your before/ after the op. When I had mine done the first time, my bf at the time was sort of supportive but when I broke up with him (and years after) he kept threatening to expose them. I think the only blessing is that’s been such a long time since then he probably lost them. But the psycho is still trying to find me 13 years later. You never know who they are until you piss them off

    vanessa 3
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    Thanks @ariel i never thought of that! Suppose that’s good advice for any girl on here really. Don’t think I’m at risk of it ATM as he doesn’t want to see them
    Yet !

    Lisa 14
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    Hey Hun,
    I was with my last boyfriend for 3 and a half years and he wanted me to get my boobs done, so I carried on being miserable within myself in order to keep him happy, we separated a year ago and I’ve been with my new boyfriend for 8 months and I told him within a month of us being together that I wanted my boobs done and he’s been nothing but supportive since, he even drove me all the way down to London 2 weeks ago for my op which was a 3 hour drive from wales. You need someone who cares for you and supports you no matter what, I learnt the hard way that burying your feelings away doesn’t work as it just made me unhappy and resent my ex, luckily I found someone who is lovely and cares for me this time around, you need and deserve someone like that too! Xx

    Lisa 14
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    Didn’t want me to get them done that was meant to say lol x

    Nina 48
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    Boyfriends come and go but boobies are forever x

    mads 22
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    @vanessa93 this sounds very familiar to my boyfriend! although i havent had my surgery yet, but he keeps on telling me that he isnt interested and he is worried that he will lose me as i will gain attention from other males? but like you, i am only having it done for myself as i am so unhappy with my boobs. Hope everything sorts out for you hun xxx

    vanessa 3
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    im now 2 weeks post op and pretty much back to normal! sometimes i forget ive had them done because my sports bra just hides them! my boyfriend has seen them now and ofc loves them and is happy, think he was just worried the first week that it would change me as a person and they wouldnt look very nice but they look so good! so happy with my decision ive even got a little bit of boob greed! so glad i didnt let anyone talk me out of it i love them xx 🙂 @maddier

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