Hi all, how did your partners react to you planning/ having a BA? ××× Started by: Sophie Scarlett

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    Hi ladies! Hope all r well and enjoying new boobies or plannin 4 them lol 😀 Just out of curiousity, how did your partners react when you told them about having a BA?
    My boyfriend is an amazing guy; he tells me im beautiful and dont need to change myself, and that of course is so lovely to hear and im lucky in that sense. However, my boyfriend has never actually SEEN my breasts so he has no idea what im going through. I breastfed my daughter for 19months and that actually didnt really take its toll it did abit… But basically (kid u not) i lost 6 and a half stones in under a year in 2016 as i was hugely fat! And the rapid weight loss has completely and utterly ruined my breasts. :'( :'( :'(
    Anyway, my boyfriend thinks im being vain, that hes gonna find them unattractive, that i will “change”, that im being selfish (yes, i am actually!), being a bad influence to my daughter, along with many other hurtful things… Oh, and also not sure whether he’ll be able to stay with me or not because this is against his morals.
    Now, for me personally, i believe if this is true love, he will be accepting of me and supportive. Also, i am not doing this to please anyone else; this is something i am doing for ME. I have been unhappy for a long, long time with my breasts and now im finally doing something about them.
    Im a big believer in fate, so i believe if i am supposed to be with him and he’s the one, then he would love me with or without them.
    What were your fellas like, girls? Im preparing myself for being dumped next Sunday (the big day!); i love him and i want to be with him, but im ready i think in case we do split. Will not be talked out of it 🙂
    Anyway, would love to hear from u all how ur partners reacted; were they positive or negative?
    Thank u in advance 😀
    ×××××××

    Roxanne 36
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    im due to go to london on the 19th at 09:00am for my surgery, im now single and looking forward to my new boobies and some one that will apriciate them as much as i do. i dont have time to dwell on someone that doesnt want to take the time to consider im doing this for me and to make me feel good. Enjoy your journey and do things for you 🙂
    xx

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    Ahhh, good luck for monday, Roxanne, sooo excitin ay! 😀 Im a few days after u in London on the 23rd ×× Thank u 4 that really appreciate it 🙂 ××

    Angela 15
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    Omg Sophie what an achievement losing that weight! You have obviously worked so hard and should be so proud well done girl!!! I think you sound clued up and your totally right it’s for you & nobody else & I don’t care what ppl think of me about having mine done but I know what you mean I think ppl r judgmental probably just jealous tho! But my situation goes I have always hated being flat chested we came back from Florida shortly after Christmas and my husband actually booked the initial appointment with mya for me we have been together for 15 yrs and every time we r going to go on holiday which should be exciting it filled me with dread! The thought of putting a costume on makes me sick! I have 3 kids & they have missed out really as I try my best to never have to go in a pool I’m so self conscious it’s awful this time he said look we’ve got the money just go and get them done if you want it can only be a good thing if it makes you feel better about yourself, so anyway that’s what’s happened I’m really lucky I know but it’s like you said if it’s true real love he will only really want you to be happy and whatever will b will be x x

    stacey 10
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    I was really lucky and after breast feeding my first child told my hubby how I felt and he agreed I could have them done after baby nber 2 as we always planned to have 2. I’m now 7 weeks post op he kept his promise and paid for them. He say he’s already noticed a change in my confidence. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Sound alike you’ve had a massive achievement losing all your weight you should deffo reward your efforts xxx

    Chloe 43
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    Hi Sophie I e been with my partner 11 years and I’ve always gone on about wanting it done but never actually had the guts to do it. I’ve always. I have always had small boobs and like u my partner has maybe in all those years seen mine maybe once or twice which was when I tried to breast feed my son, since then 3 years later I had my daughter then they totally disappeared and now are just skin and nips… anyways… I told my partner I wanted to go ahead and get it done and starry the process as I was absolutley dreading this summer with total pancake chest. He first reacted by sayig I don’t think u need it done bla bla don’t want u to change and also he didn’t like the thought of me going under the knife and having any conplicatations anyways long story short at first he didn’t really support me and thought it was silly spending all that money on BA. But then I just. Toke down and told him egsacky how I was feeling and totally opened up to hi even went as far as to show him what I actually have and he was shocked as he thought I had a handful but I don’t now…. he told me after a long conversation and some tears that he will support me no matter what because at the end of the day we only live once and why live it being unhappy and feeling like you have something missing as to me having nothing there a totally don’t feel like a women and my sex drive has totally gone downhill the last year due to feeling like a boy … at the end of the day Sophie if u and your man want to make it work and love each other The. Yas will. Sit him down have a chat open up to him totally on why your doing this for yourself. Be brutally honest and say at the end of the day who’s being selfish when your only wanting to make yourself happy and he wants to get in the way of that? He’s probably just scared we have to understand our men will find this strange like us and probably will worry . you’ll know what path to take once having it done and I strongly believe do what makes YOU happy. I haven’t even told my dad yet and have it booked in 5 weeks my dad 63 and I c him everyday how the hell fo I bring this up to him lol ?? The era he lives in is ancient when people had different views and this matter and he’s very strict!!! God help me. Xx

    Kirsty 44
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    @sophiescarlett hi babe. You are not alone in this at all. I’ve had some grief of my partner too. Been together years have 2 children together . And all he keeps saying is he thinks I’m gunna leave him for someone else. That he will hate other men gawping at my boobs etc . He knows I have wanted new boobs since our last daughter 3 years ago ,like yourself I lost 4 stone and also lost my boobs too! It’s horrible the effect it has on you ,it has made me feel like total shite. Honest Hun you have done awesome loosing that weight and too right you deserve to feel good with some new boobs 😀 Hun if he can’t support you when you need him too and understand where your coming from then I don’t know … you do what makes you happy wether his by your side or not you do what’s best for you!! Life’s to short . P.s this isn’t the first time I’ve heard partners having problems with it! Think they are being insecure and are scared a little too. But still your life is your own .live it xxx

    victoria 81
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    Ive always had partners who have put me off having it done. It does make you feel bad! Ive wanted boobs since i can remember! Im single now and going ahead with it before i meet another guy who gives me a lecture! Haha

    Xx

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    Hey Sophie, well done on losing all of that weight! That’s fantastic and such a big achievement. I think on the boyfriend front, he needs to put your feelings first instead of his, if he dumps you because of it it shows how thoughtless he is, it’ll be hard but you’re doing this for you and your feelings. Besides, I’m sure you’ll find someone who appreciates your body and feelings after you’ve had it done. It must be hard to be in that situation, my boyfriend has been great and has told me he will love me regardless of what I do, that’s being supportive, I don’t think your partner is realising how much of a big decision it is for you to make let alone think about what he feels. I’d go with your heart, boobs are for life! Boyfriends aren’t if they’re not supportive. I hope you let us know what happens. You’ve got us girlies here for you!! Xxx

    Francesca 13
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    Sophie I recently had my BA about 10 days ago. My boyfriend of 7 months was quite shocked initially when I told him I’d booked my surgery, but ultimately he was supportive as he said I deserved to feel good about myself.. he’s said a few odd comments since, but mainly it’s your decision and your boyfriend should love you either way, and for you to feel as good about yourself as possible! Anyway, mine even now at the ‘cone’ stage still look super natural! Good luck with everything, hopefully he’ll see sense 🙂 boob jobs are just about enhancing your natural beauty, doesn’t mean you’re one of them ‘fake’ girls and even if that was the look you were going for, who cares if that makes you happy! xx

    Natalie 27
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    Hey Sophie. First well done on the weight loss hunny bet you feel amazing for it. Completely get where your coming from I eat well go to the gym and everytime I looked in the mirror I hated what I saw simply for having no boobs and made leading a healthy ish lifestyle pointless if i was still unhappy with my body. I had mine done yesterday and honestly (in sooo much pain) but the best thing I ever did. My advice go for it!! It’s your body and if your boyfriend loves you he will come around. He’s probably just worried that your going to change but your still be you just with better boobs. I’m very lucky my boyfriend has been nothing but supportive he’s helped me research took me to the op and has taken nearly a week off work to help with my kids and weight on me hand and foot. I couldn’t imagine him not being this supportive as it would be such a downer on something that means so much to you. Just explain to him how bad you want this and how it will make you feel after and he’ll be fine. Involve him in it, ask his opinion on sizes and stuff and it might make him feel better because your doing it kind of together? Good luck Hun and hope it all works out for you xxx

    Claudine 196
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    Hi Sophie, made me so sad reading your story and some of the others, im pressuming your boyfriend is probably quite young? It’s unfortunate the allot of males see breasts as a sexual item only so if you have bigger breasts then you will suddenly become more sexual and probably cheat or look elsewhere??
    Im 43 i have been with my husband for 26 years we met not long after leaving school, at my age i have seen so many couples with children split up and the main reason for this is usualy because the man is unsupportive.
    Of course yes breasts are a sexual part of the body and alot of ladies with small or no breasts seem perfectly happy but for alot of us they are what we see as a huge dissapointment in our ability to feel femenine, i think rather than questioning your morality he should be questioning why he would be under the illusion that this is his choice and why he thought it would be okay to try and make you feel so bad about this.
    Most women looking to have a BA really dont care what men think about them having breasts if anything they are more upset by feeling inadequate amongst other females, i don’t want to judge your boyfriend it may be that he loves you very much and just doesn’t want anything to increase his risk of loosing you but the best way he can ensure that would be to support you where possible in all decisions and allways make your happiness a priority.
    Finaly just ask him how he would feel if his manly parts were visible to everybody? Because in a way our breasts are, yes we have clothes on but its quite obvious if somebody is very flat chested, had he had to go to a nudist beach sporting a 1 inch penis whilst all his friends had a 6 inch on display he would certainly not feel very manly and that can be how it feels for us around our girlfriends and female family members, massive well done on loosing all that weight it’s a huge acheivement and you deserve to feel good about yourself! If this operation brings you confidence and a higher level of self asteem then you must do that with or without his support, my husband has allways told me that he loves me the way i am but allways supported my wishes to have a BA it’s my body, he paid for mine went to every appointment with me and took a week off work to look after me and the kids after my op, he is going to benefit from that op longterm because he will have a much happier wife xxx

    Claire 59
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    Hear, hear. Totally agree. 100% xx

    Angela 15
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    @ Claudine yeah I think u couldn’t have put that any better !! X

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    Ahh, wow gee thank u all SOOO so much 4 ur amazing replies and advice!!! I honestly find the support on this forum phenomenal and so nice 2 chat with ladies who understand 🙂
    I agree with everything u all have said- regarding how it might be making him feel etc… U all r so right; he should defo be being supportive, and love me either way, and I guess if he doesn’t over something like this then I suppose that says a lot for our relationship really :\

    @Chloe
    and @Danielle, I agree that it is pretty selfish of him to be so strongly against it and putting me in a position where I am basically having to choose between him and my BA especially since I have let him know how desperately unhappy I am about my boobs, that I cant stand to look in the mirror and I’m in turmoil over them… I find that really unfair tbh!xxx

    @Francesca
    and @Natalie I hope u r both enjoying ya new boobies and thank u 4 ur comments- Natalie, u r right, ur lucky ur man is bein supportive, I wish mine would take a leaf out of your guys book! xxx

    @Angela
    hun I am excatly the same as u when it comes to holidays- i went to Spain in Au gust and I just felt completely uncomfortable the entire time, it was hellish. Im going to Cuba in the summer, and I just know that if I dont have them done it will ruin the whole holiday- I want to be able to enjoy myself, not be feeling self concious over my non existent breasts!!! xx
    @Maryanne Thank u, ur right, he should be considering my feelings, I agree that he prob doesnt realise how big a deal me going through with this is… For God’s sake, it’s major surgery- surely he must know that I wouldn’t be doing something as drastic as this if it wasn’t affecting me so negatively! My op is next sunday and as the days is creeping closer, I am becoming more scared… It’s such a big deal, and not something I’m taking lightly, so he should really stop and think about how badly this is bothering me. I need support at this time, not grief and stress 🙁 xx

    @Joanna
    it’s funny u said about showing him- I think I might show him the night before I get them done (I’ve felt so embarrassed doing it before, but i think maybe just before my op I wont mind because I will know im getting rid of them the next day lol) But yes, I think I’ll defo pluck up the courage to show him and maybe then he will be able to appreciate why i am so so upset. Thank u hun xx

    @Kirsty
    and @Victoria thank u both too for ur comments 🙂 xxx
    @Claudine ur comment helped me sooo much- I loved what u said about sporting a 1inch penis that really helped put things into perspective… Such good advice, much appreciated!
    Thank u alll sooo sooo much 4 taking the time out to reply to me, sorry if i didn’t mention everyone, but u all have helped me millions, i feel so lucky 2 have this space and know that im not alone in this.
    I’ll keep u all posted as to what happens with our relationship, i’m prepared for things to go either way with us, and this is a time of excitement for me right now the week leading up to the op, so I shouldn’t be letting people and their negative vibes ruin this all for me.
    As mentioned, it’s sooo true- people can be really judgemental over people with boob jobs- i just don’t get it- if it’s not for you, then fine- but live and let live i say!!!
    Will also keep u all posted as to how it goes on Sunday 😀 😀 😀 Excited much!?!?!
    Mwah xxxx and thank u all once again, u’ve all helped so much! xxxx

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