Upset Father, need help!

Well, I’m about 8 weeks post op, and my Dad finally found out about my breast augmentation. I’m an American living here in the UK so I don’t see him often. He is absolutely disappointed and it hurts me quite a bit. His exact words were “Just heard some really troubling news about some surgery you had. Really hoping it is a joke. Please tell me it is not true. If it is, I am more sad about this than anything I have ever been through. Ever.”
He is not one to be dramatic and we had a really really good relationship before. I think he’s going to blame it on my boyfriend, who was supportive but in no way asked me to do this. Has anyone else had to deal with extremely disappointed parents? What do I do?

Hey hunni, I’m sorry to hear this I really feel for you. My dad was not able to understand why I wanted surgery as in his eyes I am his perfect little girl (34 years old but still his little girl) he was upset and called me stupid and said I was risking my health and wasting money for the sake of pleasing someone else (not true my partner loves me regardless of boobies) but I gave him some time then I explained to him that it wasn’t something I felt I needed to discuss with anyone it was a very personal decision and I told him I had spent years looking at my body and feeling that it wasn’t mine, like after my children it felt like someone had stolen my reflection and replaced it with someone I didn’t recognise. He initially said don’t be so silly and said I was vain but after I told him it will change my life and give me the chance to feel happy in my own skin he could understand a little more how deep a decision it was for me.

Ultimately you have to just know that parents come to terms with anything we do because when the worry wears off and the shock fades they just love us. I found when I explained to my dad the length I had gone to making sure I was in safe hands and had the best aftercare / surgeon etc he was a lot less upset. Knowledge is power!! Good luck Hun I really hope you patch things up xxx

Hi lovely,

I have been lucky with my dad. He is supportive but my mum isn’t!

I sat down with my parents and explained why I wanted it done. They thought similar things and that is was my partner who pushed me into it.

My mum is very upset about my decision but she understands that it is something I want to do and it’s for me and no one else. I’m sure things will calm down and I suspect it’s more the shock of the situation than the actual outcome of your surgery. I wrote a letter to my mum to explain my feelings and I found that a lot easier than face to face as she kept arguing with me before I could explain.

Not that I’m by any means an expert in these matters but I’m sure time will heal his upset.

Wish you all the best xxx

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