Boyfriend doesn’t like the idea of it!! Started by: faye

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  • faye 2
    2p
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    I have deflated boobs due to weight loss and coming off the pill!!
    Have booked my surgery and my boyfriend doesn’t want me to have, I understand he’s reasons but it’s difficult as he’s the one person I want support from!
    Has anyone else had this?

    Laura 41
    41p
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    I see it as the reason he’s not happy about it is more than likely because he’ll see it as all the boys will be looking at you! My partner did say when I first said about it all that everyone will look at me but then when I sat down and explained that the reason I’m wanting this is for no1 but myself I’m not comfy with my body ive no confidants I’m not getting it done for all the boys to look at me or for attention etc it’s to make my self feel better about my self and as a woman boobs are the main part of our body that we should love more than anything he’s 10000% behind me and he’s happy if I’m happy I think if it was just an out the blue thing it might just be shock but I’m sure he will come round if you explain that your unhappy with your body (That’s if you are) and that’s the reason why you want this he may be abit more understanding xx

    faye 2
    2p
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    -1

    I really tried tried explaining it, and he understands why he just doesn’t think I need it done and like you say is worried about the extra attention I’ll apparently get.
    He says would I change anything about him and I say no and he says it’s the same thing, he doesn’t want anything to change. It makes me feel like when I do get it done what if he doesn’t like them????!!

    Claire 32
    32p
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    I know my fella has his reservations about my decision but I’ve told him I’ve needed it done long before I met him and regardless of his opinion it’s serious enough for me to still go ahead. But to put my boyfriend at ease he knows it’s for my personal reasons and that’s why I haven’t told anyone else and I’ve not put it all over fb etc unlike a friend I have who had surgery years ago and she loves attention. If your telling everyone and putting on fb then it’s going to add fuel to the ‘attention’ that he thinks it will bring on. He’ll benefit in a few ways I’m sure especially your happiness.

    Claire 32
    32p
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    Remember girls. It’s for you and no one else and being the realistic person I am, who knows if you’ll be with that person in 10 years time? Do what is right for you and no one else.

    Kate 61
    61p
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    I’m totally with Claire, this isn’t for him ita for you, it’s not for attention off other men or to get them out all the time, I don’t think any one would go through such a big op unless they felt they needed to for their own mind, I was lucky my husband was very supportive but if I’m honest I would of done it anyway beacuse i needed to have it don’t to like myself and it’s my body and my mind and I’m the one who has to live with me day in and day out, he will soon come round when he sees it doesn’t change who you are, my husband says I’m so much happier now, go for it xx

    Anonymous
    4p
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    +1

    Don’t let him stop you from getting it done! It’s your own decision and people who aren’t conscious of their bodies don’t understand what it’s like to live with stuff like that. It might seem like a stupid thing to them but it certainly isn’t to us girls. When I told a couple of friends at work they were like ‘why would you do that’ as they already had big boobs! Not everyone understands your reasons apart from yourself and girls like us who are going through the same thing. Do it for yourself and to make yourself feel confident. I’m sure if your boyfriend had insecurities he would like to feel better about himself and do something about it xx

    faye 2
    2p
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    +3

    Thankyou girls your right!! I definitely understand we’re he is coming from and I have kept it very quiet only 3 people know. But like you all say it is for me and I am the one who has to come first with how I feel about myself! I honestly can’t have these boobs anymore! Just paid for my surgery in full, August the 5thand new boobs here I come, can’t wait!

    Laura 41
    41p
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    +2

    Only people who know is my partner and my mum for the simple fact I need her for to look after my kids when I go for it. Other than that not a sole knows. It’s exactly that’s been previously said people who are happy with their bodies don’t understand but I wouldn’t let him out you off the idea and as foe your saying what if he dosnt like it after it’s dine then that’s him problem if your anything like me this is the first and only thing ive ever decided to do fir my self ive always put my kids and everyone first hence why it’s took me so long to actually bite the bullet people don’t understand how unhappy us girls can be with our bodies people put make up on to make them selves feel better I know ita not like make up because you can take that off but why shouldn’t we do what makes us happy??? Xxx

    Anonymous
    4p
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    +1

    I say if your unhappy and you can pay to get something fixed to make you happy the go for it! Life is far too short, not long until your op 😀 xx

    Nikki 23
    23p
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    +2

    This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

    My boyfriend was the same when I said I want one he was like “no you’re not” and I explained it to him like this
    I said Do you know how frustrating it is for me to clothes shop Cos I have to look at everything and think oh I can’t wear that I don’t have the boobs for it
    Or how embarrassing it is for me at 22 years old to buy 2 sizes bigger boost bras not to be able to buy any swimsuits as they have no padding
    Seeing posts on Facebook of people taking the piss out of girls who wear boosted bras like “they’re liking to us lads this is what a girls tits look like underneath her bra” then it’s just a picture of all padding and no tits
    How people post pictures like “pancake day is for girls with no tits” yeah it may be a harmless joke but when you think about it who wants to celebrate having no tits when they don’t match your body
    I told him I want them to look how they look in a bra without a bra if that makes sense
    And in the end he realised I’m not doing it to get attention or to show them off I’m doing it so I feel more comfortable around him and around me as whenever he wants to take my bra off I literally feel like hiding away
    Sorry for the essay lol but I know how frustrating it is when the one person you want to help you through this doesn’t agree but my boyfriend has been taking me to every meeting to meet the surgeon the first meeting and he’s going to be taking me every time as he supports me now
    I hope this helps and gives you ideas on how to change your boyfriends mind as it ain’t for everyone else it’s for you x

    Kay 46
    46p
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    This was exactly the same for me… my husband hates the idea of fake boobs. I think he thinks they will all be like Jordan. Also I think he thinks girls change when they have them done because they wear different clothes and flaunt them all the time. Which tbh the girls that have them done and are quiet about it you don’t notice. But I finally got through to him that it’s something I need for me and I want just natural looking boobs I wasn’t born with. It’s just fixing something I feel is wrong. I have my consultation with the surgeon on Thursday and he’s coming with me so I think he’s being really supportive atm. Although the fact of getting them out infront of the dr and him is scaring me big time as he hasn’t seen them for years! But like that… he hasn’t seen them for years so he knows how self conscious I am. Not everyone gets it but to me it’s just the same as someone getting their teeth done just people see it as sexual. It’s just to feel better about yourself x

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