Split from my Boyfriend, do I continue with the BA?

So after almost two years together my partner has decided he wants to end things today. I’m heartbroken and I know he is not going to change his mind about it either. I currently live at his house with my daughter. I’m going to need to find my own place to live and My BA is booked for 22nd September but now I’m worrying whether to still go ahead with it or not now, given my financial circumstances are going to change I’m scared I may not be able to afford it further down the line. The other option is to move back to my parents which I really really do not want to do after having a bad experience with them when I’ve done it previously! I also aren’t sure where I stand with the finance company if I wasn’t to go ahead with it either. Any advice would be much appreciated!

Have a look on the website entitled to to see what money you would get when you live alone. I’m getting my ba next month and I found out this week I’m also getting paid off next month ???? I took a loan out to pay for it already and I’m a single mum too..things will be tighter until I can get a new job but managble. Least if you got it done you would feel more confident to move on when your ready 🙂 x

@katie hi hun hope your ok first dont let all this stress you if i was u i woulf definatly go a head with ba dint let ur ex ruin this for you you can claim childtax and income supoort ring them asap so u can start getting paid pls do yhat today!!!u could ask yoyr lical council for a b and b because u have tge little one they cant refuse u if u havd no where to go or as much as u dont want to ur mum and dad coukd help you out also they can be there with recovery process ect but dont cancel your ba ur rrgret it in a month wen u want to go out with ya mates and wear nice cliths its going to boost your confidence think ling term thered a way out of everything i promise ur be ok just think whats best for you abd liitle one xx

Hiya @katie maybe see you if you are able to prospone the operation and delay it slightly. Explain the circumstances and they might be able to help delay for a few months or something until you are in a better situation. It’s worth the ask, hope you are okay xx

I’m so sorry this has happened hun 🙁 first things first I would sort out your finance and look at places to live. It might not be a bad idea to stay with your parents initially if you do go ahead with the BA on the basis that it would be a short term thing to help you recover. It would also give you a bit more time to sort a place to live out. I don’t know what you current situation is financially and with work etc but definitely look into if you can claim anything to support yourself and your daughter. There are usually lots on online calculators that can help you get idea of what you can get straight away so you can start budgeting .. if the numbers add up then I would still go for it! But it’s your decision at the end of the day hun, you know how much this means to you and you also know what you can afford and if you feel like you’d be more comfortable postponing then I’m sure that could be arranged. I hope you get sorted soon lovely xxx

Thanks for all your support and advice girls! I feel so trapped at the moment. Before I got with my other half I had my own place and it was beautiful and I left it and sold all my things to move in with him and now I’m just full of regret and worry! I’ve seen somewhere to rent and I’ve rung this morning but it’s not available until February. So I’m thinking I might move to my parents until then so I can still have my op and at the same time save some money for the things I’m going to need for the place xx

@katiep369 sounds like a good idea hun. At least then youll me in a better position to move and Can look for somewhere you love! Boys are stupid! Don’t stress yourself hun xxx

@katie ive been in simlar sitution theres one thing ive definatly learnt and that never give up your own home for your boyfriend hope yoyr feeling better about things now and at keast you have your ba to look forward to .time is the best healer so dw things will sort themselvrs out and its his loss your pretty girl you can have anyone stay strong i know its hard x

@lily The place I rang about has come back to me and it’s gone already 🙁
the town I’m from is so expensive to live there and rental properties go so quick too. If I move further outwards that’s cheaper though then I end up paying loads out in petrol commuting! It’s a no win situation.

@donna Marie I would have never usually done anything like that but his house his bought and mine was rented so it was our only option really and we both lived 25-30 mins apart too so it seemed to make sense at the time. I’ll never make that mistake again though! Thank you for your kind words, I’m just at the stage where I can’t stop crying and more so for my daughter whose going to feel the effects of all this xxx

@katie i see your point about the little one just have to stay civil infront of her and not let this effect her as much as you can let them see eachother and stuff it will be hard but your get use to it your be ok and please dont cry its just hard cuz everything is commung at u all at once on top of worrying about ba just concentrate on u and ur daughter x

So sorry to hear this! Ur first priority obviously is a roof over u and ur daughters head. As bad as it may be with ur parents before things may have changed for the better and considering the circumstances they may be super supportive.

As you said, properties get snatched up really quick where u live it would be a positive to at least have ur parents place as a base which will be temporary. It would give u a chance to put some money aside and find somewhere u actually like and ticks more boxes than just a haste move.

Moving house is stressful enough! I’d also contact ur pc and see if they can postpone it to a later date if u really can’t go ahead as yet but the issue there maybe that pushing the date back could bring it closer to ur moving date. Moving house while recovering from a ba is a defo no go area too!

All the best on ur decision. The most important thing is u and ur daughter are happy.

@donna and @fran thank you both for all the advice. I’m feeling a little less fragile today and after speaking with the ex we seem to be splitting amicably and on good terms and he’s told me I can stay at his no matter how long it is til I find somewhere right for me and my daughter. He’s even suggested I rent the house from him cheap if he gets his job promotion working in another town. Boob job wise I think I should be able to afford it, I don’t think I’m going to afford the uplift 6 months after though so I’m praying to god they look okay with just the implants! Xx

Oh thts excellent news hun! So happy to hear that! Weight off ur shoulders now for sure. Just take each day as it comes hun. If u have been offered or suggested an uplift find out exactly what type they were thinking of six months sounds really soon after ur ba.
Fxx

@katie awww so glad to hear that thats pretty nice of him to do that for you ..hopefuly u wont need a lift to and that would workout for u all the best anyway here if u need us x

Aww glad your doing ok 🙂 I split with my husband nearly 4 years ago now and got divorced we have 2 children but after a year I met my now partner who is amazing and fab with my children too. I would keep the op it will give you something to look forward to and take your mind off other things as long as you can comfortably afford it 🙂 ️xx

@katiep369 Hope you are okay Katie, sorry to hear you have split 🙁 Hopefully you will not need the lift and be happy with the results from the implants alone. Mr Clarke is absolutely fantastic you are defo in safe hands and can 100% trust his judgement xxxx

@Lex thank you Hun, he’s suggested the extra high profile ones so I’m hoping that will give me a bit of lift!

@jane Marie I’m 30 next year and I just feel like I’m back at square one again. I thought I’d be settled down by now. It’s another two years that I feel like is wasted. I’m defo going to keep on with the op, I’m going to need all the help I can get at this rate hahaha!

@donna it is really lovely of him to do, he is such a nice person and everything I was looking for, that’s why it feels hard to come to terms with 🙁 I’m desperately hoping I don’t need this lift otherwise I’ll feel like I’ve got a half done job! Xx

@katiep369 yeah i had the extra high profile but defo needed a lift, dont know if you saw my before and after pics. Theres no way i could have got away without one unfortunately! xxx

@Lex I have seen yours and mine are probably similar to yours too but then I’ve seen other girls pre op pics on here who have had a lot more sag in theirs than us and they haven’t had an uplift and they’ve looked amazing! It’s so confusing! I guess I won’t really know if I need one until I’ve had the implants put in anyway so I guess I’ll just have to wait and see! (and pray to god lol) xxxx

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